Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
