I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
