Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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