Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
