i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
