Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
