Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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