Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
