I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
