Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
