Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
