i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
