I have demons in me.
Say something about gay babies.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
