can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
