Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
