I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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