ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
