thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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