Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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