I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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