i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
