The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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