No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
