And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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