Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
