She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
