I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
