My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
