I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
