I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
