Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
