For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fuck appropriateness.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
