I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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