i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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