Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Your dad touched me again.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
