people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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