i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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