if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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