some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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