There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
