Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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