This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
