I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
pray to the hookup gods
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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