just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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