Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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