I think my vagina is haunted
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize