Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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