I heard we made out
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I understand Curling. That high.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you never un-have a 4some
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
