I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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