How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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