He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
